Saturday, January 9, 2010

Are humans smarter than cows?

So today I started the day in a cold rain. It was just a slight drizzle but it was right at 28 degrees and everything including the road had a nice glaze to it. I stopped in at our corrals/hay barn/working facilities/machine shed/junk equipment storage area and picked up enough fence posts to complete yesterdays project. It took me about and hour to drive the last of the posts into the frozen ground. The whole time the cows watched me and I am sure were wondering if I really was going to let down the wire and give them a new section of corn stubble or just tease them and leave like the previous day.
When I went to let down the dividing wire they were more than ready. The first few had barely crossed the wire before they had their head down rooting through the stover looking for the coveted yellow kernals that had made their way through the combine. I noticed one cow immediately found about half of an unprocessed ear and as she rolled it in her mouth and enjoyed it she looked at me with satisfaction and contentment.
That is what brought me to today's topic, are humans really smarter than cows or do we just think we are the superior species. When you think about it I am not really sure us humans have anything over on the cows. What does a cow have to busy themselves with during a day? Eating, and when they have a calf some nursing and mothering and that is it, besides bodily functions. Which I point out can be done anywhere anytime,without consideration to modesty or sanitation. Oh how I love my twisted mind in motion.
When was the last time you saw a momma cow rushing down the freeway to get to work on time? Her calf in its lawful child restraint seat as its mother tries to drive and apply mascara at the same time. I bet a momma cow has never spent time being bothered because one of her friends has a new pedicure and the glossy red hoof polish that she herself cannot afford. I don't think a momma cow has ever debated if her ass looked big in this hide.
I am sure it is equally true for the bulls. Do you think a bull has ever had a sleepless night worrying over a meeting with his banker the next day? They walk around all day with that green slime all over their rear end without worry. As a human the slightest drip of coffee on a light colored shirt can ruin a day. I have never seen a bull at the bar hurry out the door as the bartender went to answer a ringing phone because he feared his wife was on the other end of the line. I doubt a bull has ever worried about how he was going to put his offspring through college or what to buy his cow(s) for their birthday.
Then there are the calves that live mostly worry free as well. Eat, frolic with your buddies,poop, eat, run towards that human like you are going to charge him and turn away at the last moment and then go nurse and let your mom lick your hide, repeat as necessary. Has a calf ever worried about bringing home a bad report card? I bet a steer calf has never crashed a motorcycle while trying to impress the heifers and needed stitches in his knee like I like this one human I know.
The bovines clearly have us beat in the worry, scheduling, performance, financial and personal need department. Ahhhh but I know where we have them beat, cows cannot talk or use their brain for solving complex problems, or can they? When that cow is eating and staring at you, how do you know she is not doing complex calculus problems in her head that a NASA employee would struggle with? How do we really know that cows do not have an even more complex level of communication than humans. Maybe it is so advanced that they can do it mostly in silence or at a frequency that only they can hear. I wonder if they all laugh and talk in their advanced silent language when the first thing a human from the city often does is look at them and say "MOOOOOOOO"? I can just see them talking undetected by us as we strut around feeling all superior. Mumu Lu says,"hey Bessie look at this idiot, he is mooing at us and talking that outdated noisy English gibberish again." Bessie laughs her silent laugh and says to Mumu Lu, " yeah and not only that but he has been driving posts in frozen ground and working in the cold rain putting up new fence just so we have a new place to not worry about anything, eat and poop.
Clearly, the debate is over.

Today's real environmentalist species is Ring necked Pheasant aka
Phasianus colchicus