Here like many small towns across
Then there is a page or two of those legal’s that nobody reads but you have to run in a “paper of legal record” just to keep the community legal in their lives. This way if your ex wife decides to come back and claim ownership to your shotgun, goat or used tailgate you have some standing in the eyes of the law. The last page will have a few famous quotes, maybe a recipe or two and possibly an ad wishing someone happy birthday or announcing a demolition derby/potluck out at the dry lake bed next to the grain elevators.
The last thing in the paper every week is the “Connell Police blotter” Reporting all the actions of the police department. Now I am a huge supporter and have the utmost respect for those in law enforcement. The men, women and those in sexual transition either way who wear a badge for a living have a thankless job. Just this week alone let me show you some of the issues they face. These are ALL actual blotter reports this week followed by what my response would have been and why I can never do their job
Responded to verbal domestic, no crime committed, was verbal only.
I would have called Clarice Starling at the FBI and asked if she could maybe get
Responded to report of assault, two persons transported to police department and parent called. No assault, fight was between siblings.
Well they say keep your friends close and your enemies closer, but they did not comment on how close to keep your sister if she caught you playing with her Barbie’s.
Arrested person on warrant out of
Sorry son, “Adams County won’t drive 30 miles just to put you in jail, Sergeant Dewberry, please go fetch me the short rope and call public works and see if we can borrow their boom truck this afternoon”.
And the topper of the week
Received complaint of loud music. Complainant requested music be stopped or garage door closed until after church. Garage door was closed on arrival.
Good thing I sent the SWAT team.
Today’s real environmentalist species found on the ranch is sagebrush aka Artemisia tridentata.